Dear Cathy, I have a 4 year old daughter who goes to nursery. She stays with my parents during week days as my hubby and I work. We visit her daily after work and bring her home at weekends. I am worried as follows: She is very stubborn and wants things done her way. She interrupts by screaming when my mum is talking to us or even visitors. When we attend family gatherings she will not answer when people talk to her. Is this normal for 4 years kid to behave? Really appreciate your feedback.
Lee
CG: Dear Lee. Please do not worry. Much of your daughter’s behaviour is normal for a healthy intelligent child of four. Although I agree that some boundaries need to be put in place. Make sure your parents have the same rules and expectations of behaviour as you and your husband do. If there are two sets of rules it will be very confusing for your daughter. Talk to your parents and find out what they expect in terms of interrupting when an adult is speaking etc. and make sure you are working the same way. I suggest you read my book Happy Kids and follow the 3 Rs. The technique I describe works wonders. Re your last point about not always speaking to people; that is normal. Your daughter is simply exercising her choice, or possibly she may be a bit shy. I wouldn’t force the issue. You can encourage her to talk to family members but don’t force it. Best Wishes Cathy